Pigeon Feathers
by Westward
Summary: Red vs Blue. Tex is forced to take Caboose to Command after a deal with Church. Now she has to keep an eye on the idiot to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid at Command's local bar, or with the Freelancers inside. Rated M for Madness.
1. Part 1

**Pigeon Feathers**

Tex is forced to bring Caboose to Central Command for a night outing when she makes a deal with Church. For all that she knows, nothing good can come out of it. With Caboose, only mayhem, bloodshed, and surprisingly, a one night stand that surprises even her can happen.

Oh, the joys of alcohol and what absurdity it can lead to.

* * *

><p>Tex finished up putting her armor on. Her helmet automatically locked into place as she placed it over her untamed orange hair, and she felt on edge again. God, Tex had missed that feeling.<p>

She picked up her Battle Rifle and put it securely on her back before leaving her room at Blue Base. As she walked through the halls of Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, she passed Tucker and Sister making out in the utility closet. Tex let a disgusted groan escape as she hurried to leave the two Blues before it got more intimate.

"Morons." Tex muttered to herself as she entered the Base's garage, which held Shelia the Tank. "Hey, Sheila. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Tex. I've prepared my engine for the trip." Sheila answered as she turned herself on. Her engine roared with life, and her headlights flickered on. "I'm ready to leave whenever you are."

Tex nodded and climbed onto Sheila expertly. With relative ease, Tex popped up the tank's hatch, only to find it covered with old, wrinkled candy wrappers and some cookie crumbs. The mess could only have been caused by the one and only idiot: Caboose. Tex rolled her eyes and impatiently picked out Caboose's garbage for about five minutes. Once she was done, Tex discarded the trash onto the floor, knowing that Doc would pick it up whenever he stumbled upon it.

"You know that Caboose left a mess in you?" Tex asked as she climbed into the driver's hatch. Tex took her seat and pulled the hatch down. "Usually, you don't tolerate that."

"The last time Caboose drove me, he told me that Tucker would pick it up." Sheila stated. The tank made a strange sound as she thought. "I guess I forgot about it."

"Don't worry about it. I'll kick both of their asses for you." Tex reassured as she put her foot down one of the gas pedals.

"Thank you, Tex." Sheila stated, rather excitedly.

Tex drove Sheila outside and into the Canyon. Even inside both Sheila's hatch and her black armor, Tex was sweating profusely in the heat. Tex grumbled something that Sheila couldn't catch, but the Freelancer was clearly irritated about something.

At the fastest speed Sheila could travel at, which wasn't very fast at all, the two traveled towards Blood Gulch's only exit Sheila kept rotating her cannon, looking for any lone Reds who were too stupid to keep their distance away from them. Luckily for the Reds, they had decided to spend this blistering day inside their own Base to escape the heat. Tex was slightly disappointed by this fact, but didn't mention this to her mechanical companion.

Tex looked at the clock displayed in her helmet's visor. It was almost 19:00; she was running late. If Tex was going to get there on time, she'd have to hurry it up.

"Hey, Sheila, can you pick up the pace?" Tex asked, impatience and anxiousness in her voice.

"Nope, this is my fastest setting, Tex." Sheila answered over the roar of her engine.

Tex let out a groan and shut up. They were closing in on the exit of Blood Gulch after a couple minutes. The cliffs surrounding the exit hid two Blues, who were both talking while trying not to kill each other. They didn't hear the roar of Sheila's engine until she was right under them.

"Hey, wait a second, Caboose. And shut up while you're at it." Church ordered the Rookie. Church left Caboose and walked the ten feet towards the edge and peeked over it. With his Sniper Rifle, Church got a good look inside the hatch and decided that it was Tex who was leaving the Canyon. "Hey, Tex! Where you going?"

Sheila swung her cannon around until it was directly lined up with Church. The distance between the barrel and the part of the cliff where Church was standing at was small, and the cobalt armored soldier stared down the barrel, slightly frozen from fear. Tex heard a round roll into the barrel, but thought nothing of it.

"Target acquired." Sheila droned. "Firing main cannon."

Before Church could realize what Sheila was doing, the tank fired the round at point blank range. Church's body flew far into the distance, and landed in the middle of the canyon. Church's ghost was left standing in the same spot where his body once was. It took a second for Church to process what had happened, but when he did, he was livid.

"Damn it, Sheila! Don't do that!" Church ordered, shouting at the top of his lungs. Church jumped off of the cliff and landed on top of Blue Team's vehicle. He crossed his arms angrily and stomped one of his feet like a little child. "I thought we talked about this!"

"Oops, sorry Church. I thought that you were Simmons." Sheila apologized. Church ignored her apology and turned away immediately. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't enjoy it at all this time."

"No, Sheila, it doesn't make me feel better." Church muttered, his voice cracking from his anger.

"Sheila?" Caboose's voice was audible over what was left from the cliff. His standard blue helmet peeked over the burnt edge, along with his Assault Rifle and armored hands. His armored hands were grasping at the burnt cliff edge for support. "Sheila, is that you?"

Sheila raised her cannon again and lined it up towards Caboose's head. Caboose wasn't terrified at all. In fact, he didn't even realize the danger he was in.

"Why, hello Caboose." Sheila greeted the Blue Rookie very nicely. "Grab a hold of my cannon and I'll give you a lift down."

Caboose nodded and bent over to hug the massive weapon. Once Sheila was sure Caboose was grasping her cannon tightly, she lowered it until he could place his feet down on her. Caboose let go and went over to stand next to Church's ghost form. He put his hands behind his back and started to hum something cheerfully.

Church rolled his eyes before speaking. "Damn it, Sheila. I knew you had favorites. Hey, Tex, open up."

Tex finally recognized the two Blues' presence and opened the hatch. Even with her helmet securely on, both Caboose and Church could see that Tex was starting to sour up.

"What?" Tex asked expectantly. She eagerly tapped her gloved hands on Sheila's outer metallic covering.

"Where you going?" Church asked, his ghost form wavering as a small breeze caught him.

"Out." Tex stated as she stood up from out of her seat.

"Can you take Caboose along?" Church impulsively asked. He jumped off of Sheila and started to make his way to his body.

"What? Are you fucking kidding me? Hell no!" Tex exploded.

"Come on! He's driving me insane!" Church began to whine as he turned around to face the Freelancer. His transparent eyes looked desperate. "Just for one night?"

"I said 'no chance in hell'!" Tex shouted at her ex-boyfriend. It took all of her control not to grab her Battle Rifle off of her back and try to shoot at him. But she knew that her bullets would just fly threw him, and she would only be wasting valuable ammunition. "I'm not taking that idiot with me."

"Please, just this once?"

"Church…" Tex muttered through clenched teeth. Her patience about to snap at any second.

"Alright, alright." Church raised his hands as if to signify his defeat. Church started to creep away, but stopped midstride. "How about as a favor?"

Tex, who was sitting down into the hatch, froze at Church's words. She stared at Church's ghost form for a long minute. Finally, she cracked her knuckles before clenching her hands into fists. Tex stepped out of the hatch and jumped down onto the orange dusty ground. Church was frozen in place as Tex advanced.

Tex stuck her right hand out in front of her. Church stared at it for a while before looking into Tex's orange visor.

"Shake on it; you've got a deal." Tex announced.

Church hesitated. He didn't clarify anything in this deal. And he knew that he would pay for his mistake later. But Caboose was driving him insane _now_, and he didn't know how much longer he could stand the Blue Rookie. Church slowly stuck his hand out to shake, and Tex went to grab it. However, since Church was without a body, her hand just phased through his.

They looked at each other for a second. Awkward silence filled the canyon.

"Let's just say that we shook." Church stated.

"Yeah, let's go with that." Tex agreed. She turned back towards Sheila and Caboose, who were talking with each other quietly. Tex jumped onto Sheila and quickly climbed into the driver's hatch again. As Tex closed the hatch behind her, she spoke to the Blue moron. "Take a seat, Caboose. I'm taking you with me."

Caboose let out a small, excited gasp before promptly sitting on Sheila. Tex rolled her eyes and throttled the accelerator. The three Blues left Church behind in Blood Gulch, and he watched them disappear off into the horizon. Church nodded his head, happy that he was able to rid himself of the Blue moron.

Church ran over to his body. He quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching him. Once he was sure he was alone, Church went back in his body. Church felt himself gain weight as his ghost form settled into his body. After a minute of waiting, Church stood up. He turned around and started making his way back to Blue Base.

Suddenly, a Sniper round went off, and Church's body once again fell down to the Canyon's ground. Church was surprised, and he twisted to see both Grif and Simmons on top of Red Base. Simmons had a Sniper Rifle in his hands and was pointing it directly at Church. Grif was standing next to his partner, arms crossed.

"Ha-ha, headshot! Suck it, Blue!" Simmons shouted loud enough for Church to hear clearly. He turned to face Grif and brag some more.

"I'm not in the fucking mood for this, Simmons!" Church shouted at the pair of Reds.

"Sorry, Church, I couldn't hear you over the sound of you dying!" Simmons shouted, sounding rather annoying.

Church sighed and rolled his eyes. Instead of getting back in his body, Church started to make his way over to Red Base. He was now officially pissed off, and he was going to take some of his anger out on the Reds. Slowly, his ghost form started to blend into the dirt ground. The two Reds didn't notice his advancement until he was right in front of them.

"Uh, what are you doing here, Church?" Grif asked, slightly confused and nervous.

"I'm haunting your asses for a while, that's what I'm doing." Church seethed as he stepped closer towards them. His eyes were ice cold with determination and anger.

Simmons and Grif looked at each other. "Shit."

* * *

><p>"Tex?" Caboose whined as he stared at the blue sky. They had been traveling for almost an hour, and Caboose was losing interest. He was lying down on top of Sheila and was soaking in the vibrations that were caused by her treads. "How much longer?"<p>

"Not that much longer." Tex snapped.

She was losing it. Caboose was someone you couldn't spend ten minutes with without murdering someone. Tex was tentatively tapping her booted foot against the six pedals in an attempt to keep her sanity. She finally understood what Church had to go through, and she was extremely glad that Caboose wasn't attached to her like that.

"Ugh, I'm bored." Caboose announced. He started to bang his head against Sheila's metallic cover. With each bang, Tex's right eye flinched. "Tell me a story, Tex."

"No, Caboose. I won't tell you a story." Tex stated monotonously.

"Ugh, Tex?" Caboose continued to whine like the little kid he was.

"What?" Tex asked for the hundredth time.

"Can you _pretty please_ tell me a story?" Caboose asked as he sat up.

Tex sighed and thought for a second. She was going through scenarios and decided to go with one of her plans. Tex put Sheila on autopilot and opened the driver's hatch. She climbed out and sat opposite of Caboose. Even with the Rookie's helmet on, Tex could see that he was excited for whatever she had planned.

"Okay, Caboose, I'll tell you a story. But you have to promise never to tell anyone. Ever." Tex started. "Not even Church. Can you do that?"

Caboose thought for a second before violently nodding his head. Tex took that for a yes. She also nodded as she thought of the perfect story to tell the idiot.

"The story starts out in a large city, with tall buildings, taller than you can even imagine. Wait, never mind. A large city with buildings that you can imagine. A soldier in black armor is on top of one of the tallest buildings—"

"Are you the soldier?" Caboose interrupted.

"Yes, Caboose, I'm the soldier." Tex uttered, her voice as flat as a door mat. "I'm on the building, on an important mission sent by a very important person. My job is to . . . uh . . . blow the building up. But I have to wait for my companions to come out first."

"Am I one of those companions? How about Church and Tucker? Doc?"

"Uh . . . yeah, you are." Tex agreed, liking where Caboose was taking this story. "After a couple minutes, I'm joined by you, Church, and . . . Sister. Sister gets really pissed at me and starts questioning me."

"Does she think that you kissed Tucker?" Caboose asked. "I think she would get angry at that too."

"Oh yes, Sister was really angry at me because she thought I kissed Tucker. But I didn't, so I stayed quiet. And then, because we were taking too long, we were caught by the bad guys. The Reds." Tex continued the story. Caboose gasped and hugged his legs. He was staring intently at Tex. "But with Church's quick thinking, he distracted the bad guys long enough for me and Sister to save us all. With the bad guys distracted, I blew the whole building up!"

"That sounds dangerous." Caboose whispered; he was fully engulfed in the story. "Did we make it?"

"We did, but we had to jump off of the building to survive. I was able to fly off of the building and save you. But Church and Sister had to figure out a way to live by themselves."

"Well. That doesn't sound very nice." Caboose rationalized.

Tex shrugged. "Well, it wasn't. But it wasn't my job to save them in the first place."

Tex continued to tell Caboose the story. He was completely amazed by it, as if he was a fly attracted to a bright light. Tex count of lost time, and barely noticed their arrival as she finished her tale. It was only when Sheila shut off her engine did Tex realize that they were at their destination.

"Huh, we're here." Tex announced. She stood up and jumped off of Sheila. Tex motioned for Caboose to join her, and he slowly got up and walked towards her. "You're free to go, Sheila, we can get a ride back from someone else when we're finished up."

"Okay, have fun you two." Sheila shouted at the two soldiers before departing. The tank let out a small fit of giggles as she made her way back to Blood Gulch.

Tex grabbed the Rookie's hand and led him towards a group of buildings. He blindly followed her as he took in the place. However, after walking for a couple minutes, Caboose stopped midstride, bringing the Freelancer to a halt too.

"Uh, Tex, where exactly are we?" Caboose asked in his confused tone of voice.

"We're home, Caboose. We're at Central Command."

* * *

><p>You can read the full story at right now at or you can wait for me to upload the other chapters in a couple of days.<p>

Here's a hint, go to the other site, I forget about stuff easily.


	2. Part 2

**Part Two**

"Oh, okay." Caboose said as he nodded, which probably meant that he didn't understand. "Yes."

Tex sighed and rolled her eyes. She forced the Blue idiot to continue walking. The two made their way towards one building in particular. It was a small, one floor building that was slightly shabby, with bad lighting on the outside, but its inside lights looked efficient enough. Tex stopped when they were just in front of the door, and she turned to look at Caboose.

"Listen to me, Caboose." Tex ordered, her voice cold with authority. "Don't talk to anybody in there unless I tell you to. Don't touch anything unless I tell you to. Don't look at anything or anybody unless I tell you to. Got it?"

Caboose stood silent for a second. Tex waited patiently for an answer.

"Caboose?" Tex asked, slightly confused.

"I'm not supposed to talk to anyone, not unless you tell me to." Caboose muttered, obviously taking her orders even before they even entered the building.

"Good." Tex said.

She grabbed Caboose's hand again and led the idiot into the building. The door slammed heavily behind them, and the two were immersed in cigarette smoke and the smell of booze. The building that Tex had led them into was a small, military bar where most soldiers were unwinding after a hard day's work.

There was a pool table off on the far side of the bar, with a couple lights hanging over the table as three Standard Issue Soldiers hustled each other while buzzed. There were a few tables and stools that were occupied, mostly by other Standard Issue Soldiers. However, by the bartender were a couple Freelancers who were spilling their worries together with a couple drinks.

Wyoming was there, and he was the source of the smoke as he tempted himself with one of his prized cigars. The Freelancer was still in his white armor, but his helmet was down on the table, along with a couple others. He was sipping his drink in a civil manner, and completely ignored the two's arrival.

The Dakotas were there too, and both were in their purple armor. South was drinking heavily, and was currently resting her head on the bar's cool surface. Clear shot glasses were scattered around her, some empty, some not. Every once in a while, South would let out a growl.

She was accompanied by her more sober brother, North, who was reading a small book in the light. North looked like he was having a normal beer in the bottle and he took a swing of it as he noticed Tex and Caboose. North motioned for Tex to sit down and he gave a questioning glance at Caboose, but didn't say anything.

Tex nodded and reached for her Battle Rifle that was on her back. She placed her weapon on the ground by the door, where everyone else's guns were resting for their owner's time here. Tex searched Caboose for anything, but he was unarmed.

Tex grabbed Caboose and forced him to sit down on a bar stool next to Wyoming. She took off his helmet before taking the seat between him and North. Caboose had his eyes unnaturally closed tight, and it looked like he wasn't breathing. As soon as Tex took off her own helmet and set it down next to North's, she smacked Caboose on the back to make him breathe.

"You don't have to stop breathing, you moron." Tex said through gritted teeth.

Caboose heard Tex's words and sucked in a deep breath of fresh air before gasping like a fish out of water. He grabbed his knees for support as his body tried to regulate his air flow. It was actually a funny series of events, and Wyoming couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ah, yes, I remember you now. You're the idiot of your team." Wyoming declared, spewing out smoke towards Caboose's direction, which only made the boy cough. "Good god, I thought that there were at least_ some_ standards for Simulation Soldiers."

"Hey, can it Wyoming. Other than me, he has the highest body count in that shithole." Tex defended her team member for some odd reason. She turned to face the bar tender. "Hey, Monty. Give me a bottle of Whiskey. And give my friend here some orange juice while you're at it."

Vermont, Monty stared at Caboose with a questioning look. "You want anything in it?"

"No, Monty, it's best not to give him anything with alcohol." Tex stated.

Monty hesitated for a second before nodding stiffly. He bent down under the counter for a second and then stood up straight again, holding a carton of orange juice in his left hand and a full bottle of Whiskey in his right. He took out a margarita glass and poured the orange juice in it quickly and then shoved the glass into Caboose's face. Monty just opened the bottle and then slammed it in front of Tex. Tex instantly grabbed it and started to chug it down nice and fast. She stopped after a second and put the bottle down.

"That hits the spot," Tex muttered to herself. She turned to face Caboose, who hadn't touched his drink yet. Tex rolled her eyes. "Caboose, you can drink the orange juice."

"Okay." Caboose muttered softly.

Caboose awkwardly grabbed the margarita glass and sipped the orange juice slowly. Wyoming occupied himself by watching the Blue Rookie while he acted like an idiot. North was also watching Caboose, and he definitively set his large book down.

"Caboose? That's a strange name." North speculated. He turned to face Tex. "Why'd you bring him along?"

"Oh, just ignore Caboose. I'm babysitting him for tonight. At least I get a favor out of this." Tex smirked as she washed down her Whiskey with even more Whiskey.

South snorted and picked her head up. She uncoordinatedly swung around to face the other Freelancers. She was obviously drunk, and she knew it too. South took one of her unfinished shots and drank it down without hesitation.

"Really, Tex? You're still going by that 'favor' thing?" South said, slurring some of her words. "The best Freelancer in the Project is still going by the favor motto. You're such a retard."

North turned to face his twin. He placed a hand down on her closest shoulder. "Hey, watch what you say, South. Or you may regret it later on and be ticked at yourself when you're sober."

South flinched away from her brother's touch and motioned for Monty to fill one of her shot cups. As Monty did so, South slumped down into her brother, half unconscious. North rolled his eyes and turned to have a decent conversation with Tex before she also got too drunk for their own safety.

"Where's Maine? I haven't seen him around in a long while." Tex asked the small group of Freelancers.

"He hasn't been around in a couple months." North stated. He finished his beer bottle before continuing. "Honestly, I think he died on a mission and the Director hasn't decided to release the details to us yet."

"Poor chap, and he owed me money, too." Wyoming pitched in as he discarded his cigar. He reached into his helmet and pulled out a pack of cigars. He found one that caught his interest and quickly got out his trusty lighter. "Over a grand lost to a dead man."

South rolled over her brother and gave Tex an evil eye. She smiled creepily before burping like a man with serious indigestion problems.

"Rumor has it that he turned rogue." South stated as her smile grew wider.

"That's a bunch of shit." Tex exclaimed. She chugged some more of her Whiskey down quickly. "Monty, my friend here needs some more orange juice. Anyways, Maine wouldn't go rogue. He's been loyal to us since he was recruited. Even after his injury."

"How would you know? You weren't even there when we were all recruited," South said, putting extra emphasis on the last D of recruited. "You came in halfway, you bitch."

"Enough, South." North ordered his twin. The last thing he wanted was a catfight between a drunk South and a buzzed, but heading towards drunk, Tex. "I think it's time you hit the racks."

"'M fine." South muttered before passing out on the counter.

Tex finished her bottle of Whiskey soon after South passed out. She ordered a cocktail right afterwards and drank half of it before deciding that she had to use the restroom. Tex promptly left, leaving Caboose alone with the other Freelancers.

"So, Caboose, my old boy, are you still killing your team members?" Wyoming asked as soon as he was sure Tex had left.

Caboose quickly looked at Wyoming and then at the door Tex went through. He returned his gaze at Wyoming and chewed his lip for a second. Wyoming waited patiently for an answer and twisted his mustache to keep his hands occupied.

"I'm not supposed to talk to anyone unless Tex tells me to," Caboose stated before picking up his margarita glass of orange juice.

North and Wyoming burst out into laughter at Caboose's answer. Their outburst was loud enough to wake South, who just glared at them for a long time. Wyoming patted the Rookie's back while he laughed as if to encourage the boy to talk more. Caboose didn't know why they were laughing, so he just joined in. This just made everyone laugh harder. It took a long while for everyone to calm down again.

"Caboose, you don't have to worry about us," North encouraged the Simulation Soldier. "You can talk."

"Oh, okay." Caboose said, still confused.

"Here, boy, let me buy you a drink." Wyoming announced as he grabbed Caboose's shoulder as if to show the boy that he was among close friends. "Monty, give me your strongest drink."

Monty nodded and went into the back room. After a few minutes of talking, Monty came back with a large glass. Its contents looked as innocent as a smoothie, but it was full of swirls of rum and who knows what other kinds of alcohol. Monty placed the drink in front of Caboose and deftly placed a bendy straw into it. He pushed the glass forward, towards Caboose, before heading back to clean up the mess that he made.

"Go ahead, boy. Take a sip and tell old Wyoming what you think about it," Wyoming ordered.

"And Tex will be fine with it?" Caboose asked.

"Yes, yes she will," South said through some snickers.

Caboose shrugged and picked up the drink. He started to sip it slowly, but when he realized how sweet the drink tasted, he started to gulp it down. In a matter of seconds, the drink had completely disappeared. Monty picked it up and started to wash it in the sink.

"Wow, that was really, really good." Caboose exclaimed, feeling really weird after finishing the drink.

Wyoming nodded, now clearly intoxicated like the rest of the Freelancers. He patted Caboose on the back one last time before occupying himself with yet another cigar. Tex finally exited the restroom and sat back down on her barstool. The Whiskey was taking effect on her body, and she herself was feeling more than a little bit tipsy.

"Right, what'd I miss?" Tex asked as she picked up her unfinished cocktail.

"Nuttin', absolutely nuttin'," South announced.

"That's good. 'Cause I wanted to talk to you guys about the new weapons policy, and how full of bullshit it is," Tex stated.

Tex lost how many hours she and Caboose spent with the other Freelancers. Time lost its meaning after how drunk all six of them got, including Monty the bartender. She knew one thing though; someone was bound to throw a punch sooner or later.

"Hey, I remember you." Caboose turned around to face Wyoming. "You tried to kill Tucker. And all of us! Why would you do that?"

"It's my job, old chap. You have to do what you have to do," Wyoming stated. "I'm off the clock right now, and I hate to mix work with pleasure."

South snorted. "It's hard to do that with 'Miss Perfect' over here, Wy."

Tex turned around dramatically and weakly pointed at South. She had trouble keeping her eyes open and steady on the other woman. South noticed this and perked up a bit.

"Oi, what did you call me?" Tex questioned, slurring most of her words together.

"Eh, never mind. 'Miss Perfect' doesn't fit you at all." South grumbled. She gave one last glance at her shot glass before throwing it over her back. The sound of glass breaking on the floor silenced the rest in the bar. "You're more of a 'Bitch Asshole of a Slut' if I say so myself."

"Really, you wanna do that?" Tex asked, raising one of her eyebrows. She looked really tempted.

"Come at me, bro!" South egged on, raising her hands into fists.

Tex finally decided to lay one on South. She flew off of her bar stool and flew into North. Her powerful fist struck South on her chin, sending her head snapping. North couldn't react quick enough to save his sister, but pushed Tex away from the both of them after a second of processing what had happened.

Tex stood up from her seat and stumbled backwards to the middle of the bar. Once South realized that Tex had hit her, she let out a growl and jumped up, only to stumble for a while before she got some equal footing. South slowly advanced towards Tex, arms tensed to fight.

The two Freelancers circled one another, everybody's eyes on them. It grew silent in the bar, and most of the buzzed Standard Issue Soldiers grew uncomfortable. But for some reason, they were all frozen in place as they watched the oncoming fight. No one knew who would take the next swing. Tex was waiting for South to do it.

Finally, South lunged. Tex ducked and tried to punch South in the gut, her orange hair clinging to her dirty head. South realized this and jumped over Tex, sliding down her black armor for support. Once she was on the ground, she turned around and tried to kick Tex in the rear. Tex noticed this and spun around just in time. Tex grabbed South's leg just before it had made contact and expertly tossed the other Freelancer into a couple chairs off in the distance. The chairs South landed on easily broke under the soldier's armor.

"Ouch, you bitch!" South grumbled as she hugged her head.

Wyoming and North saw this endeavor, and decided that it was time to get involved too. They quickly stood up, causing their bar stools to fall down and to clatter on the floor. Tex turned her head to see the two of them charging. She let out a sigh and dove for their feet, going feet first. Tex slid into them, sending the other two Freelancers tumbling towards the ground. Tex was able to punch Wyoming in the groin as he passed her.

Tex stood up and stared at the three Freelancers, content with her work. She went over and nudged North's foot, to see if he was still conscious. He was, but he was too busy soaking in his wounds to get up at the moment.

"Tex! Behind you!" Cabooses voice cried out, just a bit slurred.

Tex quickly jumped to her right, falling into a table in the process, just in time to see Monty the bartender take a swing at her with was looked like a golf club. Monty stumbled forward with the club, but turned around and gave Tex a determined look. Monty jumped forward again, golf club in hands. Tex dodged one swing aimed for her head, but wasn't fast enough in her intoxicated state to dodge the one meant for her waist.

Tex took a couple steps back. Monty also backed off, right into the group of other Freelancers. North and Wyoming were up now, and were helping an aggravated South get her footing. Once they were all ready, the tensed themselves to attack Tex. Tex was a brilliant fighter, but in her intoxicated state of mind, she couldn't take four soldiers by herself.

"Four on one. Eh, nothing that I haven't seen before." Tex muttered to herself as she tensed her body. Suddenly, just before she was about to lunge, Tex came up with an idea. "Caboose! I need you to _help them_."

"Okay." Caboose obeyed as he left the safety of the bar. He went to stand next to Tex and stared at her with his big, puppy blue set of eyes for directions. "I will help them."

South let out a drunken snort and looked at Caboose viciously. North looked exasperated; he couldn't believe that Tex hadn't asked for Caboose's aid. Then again, North doubted that the Blue Soldier would have been much of a help against four trained Freelancers. Wyoming guessed the real reason behind Tex's choice of words, but discarded the thought.

"Oh, come on, Tex. You really want to make it a five to one fight?" South spewed out. "You're much more of a show off than I had originally thought. I gotta know, why the fuck would you do it?"

"Call it a hunch," Tex muttered, more to herself than to anyone else.

Tex surge forward, bringing her hand down on Monty's neck. The force of her hit made a bone snap in the poor guy's neck, and Monty dropped his golf club when he was engulfed in his own pain. He fell to the ground, out cold. Tex grabbed the golf club before it hit the floor and quickly swung it up into an oncoming Wyoming. The golf club whacked the Freelancer in the groin, causing the old man to groan.

As Wyoming limped for a couple seconds, North took this opportunity to punch Tex in the back. He managed to land a few punches quick enough to distract Tex. Tex turned and head butted North's own head, giving him a serious headache, but a window of opportunity for his twin sister. South jumped into Tex and started to pummel the other woman on the back mercilessly. Tex let out a small cry of pain, which just encouraged South even more. North joined his sister and started to endlessly punch Tex in the front. Together, they kept Tex frozen in place from the pain that they were causing.

Tex managed to stop them by stomping on their feet hard. They stopped for a second, their drunk minds trying to process the pain. Tex jumped onto North's shoulders, sending the grown man to his knees by her weight alone, and she launched herself off and into South. When Tex landed on the other Freelancer, she punched South on the chin a second time. South's chin started to bleed this time, and she angrily spat into one of Tex's emerald eyes.

The two were left tumbling on the ground, rolling on top of each other as they tried to wail the other. Wyoming finally stopped worrying about his crotch and stood next to a recovering North. Wyoming turned to look at a confused Caboose.

"Well, aren't you going to help us, old chap?" Wyoming asked, expectantly.

"Okay, Mr. Wyoming!" Caboose shouted. He reached over and grabbed a large bottle of unknown contents. Caboose felt the weight in his hands before walking over towards the two men. "I am here to help you."

Wyoming nodded and walked over to pull Tex off of South, who was now covered in her own blood. With the help of North, the two men were able to grab a hold of Tex and force her up. South scrambled up and wiped some of the blood off of her face. Once she was sure Wyoming and North got a good hold of Tex, South punched Tex in the nose. She heard a satisfying snap, and realized that she had broken the Freelancer's nose.

"You think you're so special, don't you?" South asked, taunting the bound Freelancer. She punched Tex again before continuing. She glared at the other woman with blood red eyes. "You were the Director's favorite, always getting special treatment."

_Smack!_ South punched Tex in the face again.

"You were the first to get assigned correctly working enhancements!"

_Smack!_

"Not only that, but you got two of them! While _we_ got nothing!"

_Smack!_

"It's because of you that Carolina committed suicide! It's because of you that Wash got the faulty AI unit! He took the one that you didn't want! And now he's paying for it, sitting in the Medical Ward while waiting to know if the damage done by his AI was permanent!"

South hit Tex four times for that last outburst. Tex's face was now raw and bloody, and even North was starting to feel bad for the Freelancer. But he had held too much resentment in the past years to stop his mad sister now.

"You're such a bitch, Tex. Sure, you're a good soldier. But before you came along, we had something in the Project. Teamwork. When you came along, it was all competition from then on out. We would have done so much better without you." South muttered, but it was loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear. "You are a whore. A dirty whore that no one wants around."

Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering was heard, followed by a rain of glass shrouding South. A bottle full of liquid had been brought down on her head with enough force to kill her. However, South had a thick head, and wouldn't die from the impact. She stood, frozen for a second. Wyoming and North watched in horror as South's eyes rolled into the back of her head. South fell to the ground, face first.

The three conscious Freelancers stared at her body for a second. After they finally decided that South wasn't dead, they looked up to see who her attacker was.

It was Caboose, whose face was beet red with anger.


	3. Part 3

"You do not talk to Tex like that." Caboose ordered, his voice confident and loud. He stared at South's body, holding what was left of the bottle in his hand. He threw it on her purple armor, as if to disgrace the Freelancer even more. "Never talk to Tex like that."

Wyoming and North stared at the Simulation Blue Soldier. They hadn't expected him to hit South, and especially not that hard. North was preoccupied with his sister, thinking if he should let go of the Freelancer and help South to the medical wing. But Wyoming held him in place, knowing that he couldn't hold Tex by himself.

"Why not?" Wyoming asked the Blue. He raised a white eyebrow at him.

"Because Tex is a nice lady and she hasn't hurt me in a long time. She is a meanie sometimes, but she is never as mean is this lady." Caboose kicked South's foot to show who he was talking about. "And she is really pretty. More pretty than any other girl that I know that are not my sisters. She helps me when I ask her, unlike others."

The two Freelancers were at a loss of words. That didn't sound like the Texas that they knew and hated. Not at all. Wyoming was wondering what had happened in the canyon Tex was stationed in that had changed her. That is, if Caboose's words were true.

Tex was also startled. She hadn't noticed how she had been acting around Caboose, much less noticing Caboose at all. It must have been that over the years in Blood Gulch, Caboose's innocence was softening her up a little bit. She didn't know how to respond, so she just closed her eyes to shut her thoughts out.

"So let go of her, now." Caboose ordered. His blue eyes stared deep into their souls. The two men didn't move. Caboose squinted his eyes and ground his teeth slightly. "Now!"

For some odd reason, North and Wyoming obeyed Caboose's commands. They dropped Tex, and she fell to her knees. Tex let out a gasp as she tried to clear her mind, but that was impossible from all the amount of alcohol that was in her system. After a minute of silence, Tex stood up. She was between Wyoming and North, who were trying to avoid her glares.

Without a warning, Tex punched both North and Wyoming in the face simultaneously. As their heads moved with the punch, Tex grabbed them by their hair and forced them to butt heads. The two lasting Freelancers fell to the ground, finally unconscious. Tex and Caboose were left standing over the four bodies, and the two of them were both somewhat admiring their work.

The Standard Issue Soldiers had been watching the fight the whole time. But now that it was over, they ignored the mess that Tex had caused. The three soldiers who were playing a game of Pool finally decided to continue their game, now that all of the action had ended.

"Well, that was fun," Tex stated, somewhat sarcastic as she picked up a cloth off of the bar and started wiping her blood off of her face. "Thanks, Caboose."

"Oh, it was nothing." Caboose muttered, being fairly bashful about it. He sat down on one of the remaining bar stools and put his head down on the bar's counter. "I just did what you told me to do. Wait—no I didn't. I talked and looked and touched stuff. Sorry, Tex…"

Tex threw the dirty, blood covered cloth down on the floor next to South. She picked up their helmets and placed them on her back. Tex grabbed Caboose's hand, which he gripped tightly, and they started to make their way out of the bar. But Tex stopped once they were halfway out the door; she recognized one of the soldiers that were in the far off corner.

"Hey, Four-Seven-Niner, can you give us a lift back?" Tex called out.

The soldier looked up. She nodded and finished her coffee before putting her helmet back on. Four-Seven-Niner grabbed the keys on the table she had been occupying and joined the two in the doorway.

"Excuse me, Agent Texas, I'll warm up my Bird for you," Four Seven-Niner stated as she shoved her way through Tex and Caboose. "It'll be a couple minutes."

Tex nodded and took one last look at the bar. She smirked when her eyes stopped at the passed out Freelancers.

_They never learn,_ Tex thought quietly to herself before addressing everyone else left in the bar. "See ya next week, guys."

Her goodbye was met with a couple waves, and with that, Tex closed the door, encasing the cigar smoke once again in the building. Tex held her head, wondering how drunk she was. Somehow, she knew she was extremely drunk, and she knew she would have a rotten hangover tomorrow. But she didn't care about that at the moment.

Again, Tex grabbed Caboose's hand as she led them towards Four-Seven-Niner's Pelican. But this time, Caboose gave Tex's hand a little squeeze. Tex froze in place and twisted around to glare at him. Caboose just smiled back at Tex, his lips a little flustered. Tex realized that Caboose was drunk too, completely and utterly drunk.

Tex groaned and helped the unsteady Caboose into the back of the Pelican. Once they were safely inside, Four-Seven-Niner closed the hatch and throttled the engine. Tex and Caboose took their seats next to each other. Other than the hour drive that Sheila had taken, Four-Seven-Niner's pelican would get them back to Blood Gulch in less than twenty minutes.

Tex and Caboose rode the first couple minutes in silence. They were both thinking very deep thoughts. Caboose chewed his lips as he thought. Finally, he looked up.

"Tex, I think you are very pretty." Caboose announced.

"Yes, Caboose, I know." Tex stated as she tried to force her swollen, purple nose back into place.

"And I think that those guys were mean to you back there," Caboose muttered. He had averted his eyes to examining his gloved hands. "They were meaner than O'Malley."

"Yes, Caboose, they were," Tex agreed. She was staring at him; she knew he had been thinking of something extremely hard. "What is it, Caboose?"

"Those guys, they made me really, _really_ mad when they hurt you." Caboose muttered, through gritted teeth. He was forcing these words to come out, and his body was tensed up. "It was making me really angry. And I don't know why."

Tex's first reaction was that Caboose had been really close to losing his control back there. And that could have been deadly. Extremely deadly. Tex then realized why Caboose had been that angry. In his traumatized state, along with the amount of alcohol in his system, Caboose had developed strong feelings for Tex.

And Tex somehow liked the sound of that.

"Fuckin' alcohol," Tex mumbled to herself as she rolled her eyes.

She leaned over and stared at Caboose. Caboose looked straight into Tex's emerald green eyes. He didn't know what she was planning, and he had stopped breathing to think about it. Tex stared at him for a long time, not even moving to flinch when the Pelican hit an air current.

"Uh, Tex, what are you—"

Caboose couldn't finish; Tex had pressed her lips against his. At first Caboose was startled, but he slowly loosened his body up, letting Tex press him against the Pelican's siding. There was no tenderness in this act, but just pure force and lust. Tex was dominating the Blue soldier, leading Caboose along the way.

Tex broke contact to suck in a deep breath of air, but didn't let Caboose catch his own breath. In a matter of milliseconds, the two were connected once again for an unbearably long amount of time. Both of them were starting to sweat from the intensity, but neither of them cared.

Slowly, Tex started taking their armor off. Caboose was clueless, and intently watched her actions.

Four-Seven-Niner took off her helmet to take a sip of her black coffee. She heard the ruckus in the back of her Pelican. She rolled her eyes and pressed a button on the controls. The door to the back closed, and Four-Seven-Niner was free of the unwanted sounds from the soldiers.

"Why is it," Four-Seven-Niner sighed heavily, "that every single ride I give leads to my Pelican becoming the 'Love Van'?"

* * *

><p>Four-Seven-Niner dropped the two love birds off at the edge of Blood Gulch. It would only take the two about a ten minute walk into the canyon and back to their Base. Both were back in their armor, helmets on and everything. Caboose carried himself with a newfound confidence, and Tex couldn't help but snigger inside her helmet.<p>

The two started walking together, their hands intertwined for the last part of their night's journey.

"Tex, why did you bring me with you?" Caboose asked after a couple minutes walking together.

"Oh, I can't remember." Tex lied. It was best not to tell him the truth.

She stopped and thought for a second. Caboose also stopped and looked into her visor. She blushed slightly, but told her body to stop reacting. She looked up at the sky to avoid eye contact. Caboose followed her actions and looked up at the clear blue sky. Somehow, the sky had changed for him since the last time he gazed up there. It looked different.

"Tex, am I going to forget all of this?" Caboose randomly asked.

Tex jumped at the question, but started to shake her head. She stopped halfway, realizing what she could do. Now that Tex was a little bit more sober, she realized how much berating she would go through with all of Blue Team if they knew what the two of them had done. If.

"Yes, Caboose, you're going to forget all of this." Tex stated, somewhat reluctantly.

Suddenly, Tex let go of her body, and she let her ghost form step away. Her body fell to the ground, and Caboose instantly bent his head down to inspect her. As he began to worry about her health, Tex jumped inside of Caboose. For a long while, Tex rummaged around Caboose's deranged brain searching for the place where he stored his memories. She found it and quickly destroyed the past twenty hours worth of information.

Tex jumped back out of his mind and settled back into her body. Just as she stood back up, Caboose recovered from his possession and looked around stupidly. He found Tex and took off his helmet.

"Uh, Tex? Do you know where we are?" Caboose asked like a little child, his eyes once again filled with childlike innocence.

Tex nodded, happy that her plan worked. She grabbed Caboose by the shoulder and forced him to walk forward. With her other hand, she put his helmet back on for safety reasons.

"Come on, Caboose. I'll tell you everything you need to know on our way back home," Tex reassured him.

In their last few minutes alone together, Tex fabricated a fake story about how the both of them were sent on a secret mission. It was a good story, and it was in reality just an altered story about what had just happened. Minus the intimacy between the two of them, that is.

"Oh, I wish I remembered that," Caboose whined. "It sounded fun."

Tex let out a small chuckle. "It was, Caboose. It was."

Finally, they entered the canyon. A wall of heat struck them, and they both started to sweat profusely. Tex took out her Battle Rifle and activated the scope. She was looking for any sign of activity, or even a sign of life, in Blood Gulch. What she found startled her.

"Oh, son of a bitch." Tex muttered angrily.

All hell had broken loose since they left. The two Simulation Armies had started a battle shortly after Tex and Caboose's departure. It had been started when Simmons shot Church.

Church was back in his body, finally, and was chasing Simmons around at an incredibly fast pace. He poorly shot his Sniper Rifle at him, but had brought enough rounds with him to last an eternity. Simmons was running around like a moron, and was calling for Sarge.

Sarge, however, was ignoring Simmons because he had managed to chase Doc up in one of the only trees in Blood Gulch. Sarge couldn't climb the tree and was shooting his Shotgun at the poor medic. He finally decided to leave the medic alone when Sheila started firing at him.

And Sheila had somehow managed to flip entirely over. She was stuck in the position she was in, and was firing blindly at anyone who would get too close to her. Red or Blue; it didn't matter. Sheila was starting to malfunction slightly, and sparks were scattering from her controls.

Grif was holding tightly to Sister, who was trying to break free while shouting insults at her older brother. Tucker was a couple yards away from them, but he didn't dare approach Grif, who held his Magnum ready at him. Junior wasn't that far behind his father, playing in a lone dirt hole that was once a mud puddle. Sister finally freed herself from Grif, and she sprinted over towards Tucker, and once they made a quick embrace, they made a run for it. Grif was right on their trails, more determined than ever.

Donut looked like the least troubled in the situation. He was having fun with the Motorcycle, trying to do tricks on it. It was evident that the Red Rookie was oblivious to the battle around him. Every once in a while, Donut would let out a girl-like scream, not from terror but rather enjoyment.

"I leave for seven fucking hours and I come home to this," Tex muttered to herself. She turned to face Caboose. "Turn Sheila over, will you?"

Caboose nodded and ran over to Blue Team's tank. Tex took one last look at him before she started to repress her own memories. She ordered herself to forget, and she never looked back.

"Hey boys!" Tex yelled out. Everyone stopped their fighting and stared to look at the soldier in black. She glared at all of the soldiers from Red Team. Tex loaded her Battle Rifle and cocked it before continuing. "Who's first?"

* * *

><p>And that ends that crazy adventure. Thanks for reading!<p>

To be continued . . ?


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